August's birth story

Where to start this birth story?!

Since I didn't update on this pregnancy at all, I guess I will start there.  This pregnancy was similar to my other ones.  No morning sickness, tired on and off throughout the pregnancy, and I got very large towards the end.  I think my body was a little more "run down" this time around.  For the past five years I have either been breast feeding or pregnant.  My hips ached for the first time and I had shin splints the last month of being pregnant.  I still did not have any Braxton Hicks contractions or false labor scares before he was born.  My only two pregnancy cravings this time around were Arby's and ice.  This time around I did take primrose oil tablets a few weeks before delivering.  Maybe this is why he came so fast?

Unlike the other two pregnancies, we didn't find out what we were having.  I just knew it was a boy though.  It's unexplainable but I just knew.

With Hosanna's birth I was so prayerful about the entire thing.  Every day of my pregnancy I blessed the birthing process and was so intentional about laying my fear before the Lord each day.  This time around it felt really different.  Every time I prayed about it I got an immediate feeling of the Lord saying "I got this."  I would still pray about it but I felt this extreme peace.  I almost felt like I did not need to pray about it as much.

Having a natural labor with Hosanna was such a healing thing for my spirit.  I came to a realization that my body is made to have babies and it is something I should praise God for and not be afraid of.  That feeling carried over to this pregnancy and into my labor.

August's due date was on the 10th.  Different from the last two times around I did not panic or really feel any disappointment when his day came and went.  I guess I finally realized my babies like to hang out with their mom a little longer than most.  :)

So Tuesday the 13th, I was feeling a little stir crazy and wanting to get out of the house.  It was a beautiful day so we decided to head down to the zoo.  We spent a few hours walking around and looking at the animals.  I felt my usual discomfort but nothing out of the ordinary.  When I had Hosanna, I felt very flu-like the entire day before she was born.  I assumed I would have another day like that before this labor.

We then headed to the hospital to visit one of my best friends who just had twins.  It was an amazing day and I felt so much joy getting to see her with her baby (one was in the NICU, so I just saw one of the two).  I went from there to my OB appointment.  Everything looked great and baby sounded healthy.  They talked to me about induction and told me they would be willing to let me go two weeks late instead of the protocol one week, since all my babies have been late so far.  This was a huge relief because my induction with Henry was disastrous.  I did not have them check my cervix, so I did not have any clue how dilated or far along I was at the time.

By the time I got back home it was around 3:45 and I was exhausted.  The kids were resting and I told Jordan I wanted to lay down until they woke up.  Laying on the couch I was half asleep and I felt a "gush."  I knew it was different from peeing my pants, so I called my doula.  She suggested putting on a pad to see if I was just leaking or if my water had truly broken.  I soaked through the pad in a minute so I knew this water wasn't leaking... it was broken.

For those of you who don't know, typically a woman has 24 hours to have her baby after her water breaks.  Doctors get nervous the baby or mom are at risk for infection if the baby isn't born much sooner after that.  Usually a woman would call the hospital as soon as her water breaks.  I knew I was not contracting at all and did not want to call the hospital because they would want me to come in right away and start me on Pitocin.  Pitocin is a drug that causes contractions and they are usually much more intense and painful than the ones your body produces on it's own. After talking with my doula, and her sharing the risks of me not calling, I decided I would wait until morning to call the hospital.  Usually if I went against doctors orders I would feel fear and anxiety; but I felt none of that.  My doula suggested going about my day as normal and trying to get some rest and take some walks.

It was hard to go along with my normal day because I was leaking everywhere.  So I sat on some towels while Jordan entertained the kids.  They were unusually hyper and unruly so we called my mom and she picked the kids up around 6:00 pm.

Henry was hilarious and when he went outside to leave the house, he announced to the neighbors "my mom is in there about to have her baby!" They thought I was headed to the hospital at any minute so they came over with their cameras and were acting like paparazzi.

My sister picked up Potbelly's for dinner and we spent the evening eating, walking and playing games.  I even ate an ice cream cone! While taking walks I would feel my stomach tightening but still felt no pain at all.  The tightening's timing was not regular at all so I just thought it was Braxton Hicks contractions.

Jordan and I watched some Office episodes and I was still feeling no pain at all and just some random tightening of my stomach.  It was great feeling no pain, but I started to feel extremely anxious about what the next 24 hours would entail.  It's a weird place to be wanting pain to start, and knowing in the soon I would be experiencing one of the most painful, intense days of my life.  I even considered just going into the hospital and telling them to hook me up to the Pitocin and give me an epidural before I felt anything at all.   I refrained from those desires but my thoughts were getting the best of me.

At 10:30 we decided to go to bed.  I set my alarm for 6:00 am, and we decided I would head to the hospital if I did not have contractions before then.  As soon as I laid down I started having this weird pressure and urges to push every minute or so.  Even though they were not painful, the intensity took my breath away.   I got up around 11:00 and called my doula.  I explained to her that I was not in any pain but just felt like I was refraining from pushing every minute or so.  She told me to follow my body's lead and not to bear down but let my body do what it needed to do.

Jordan told me later that meanwhile, he was in the other room praying for discernment about when to head to the hospital.  I sat on the toilet for another half hour and just dealt with these "urges" to push.  It was so bizarre because I did not feel any pain yet I felt the need to push.  This was really hard for me mentally because the urges were so strong, yet I had no idea how far along I was, or if active labor had even started.

Jordan came in at 11:30 and asked me if we could head to the hospital.  I refused, telling him that I was not in pain yet and I did not want to get there too early.  He left the room and came back in ten minutes later.  He told me that we needed to go to the hospital now and that I did not have a choice.  I agreed.  The car ride there was pretty uneventful.  We sat in silence mostly while I tried to keep my focus.  This labor was a huge head game for me because I was so confused on what was going on.  Was I in labor?  Wasn't I?  What was the deal with these pushing urges?  Was I having them because I just had to go to the bathroom.

We got to the hospital at midnight on the dot.  Jordan asked if he could park or if we should go to the emergency room.  I told him I could walk in, so he parked.  I got out and took ten steps then stopped.  I then felt a feeling I remember from my last pregnancy.  I was about to push the baby out.  Extreme pressure on my back and an urge to bear down that you have to surrender to.

Jordan pulled the car to me and we drove to the emergency room entrance.  Every three steps I had to stop.  When we reached the labor and delivery floor Jordan informed the receptionist I was about to have the baby.  She started asking our name, DOB, etc... and Jordan interrupted her and said, "the baby is coming out right now."  We walked behind the desk into triage where I quickly and abruptly told Jordan, "Take off my pants right now."

Six nurses and a doctor rushed in the room and told me to lay down.  I was already "in the zone" if you will and I could feel the infamous "ring of fire."  The nurses and doctor were screaming at me to lay down.  They were telling me how it was not safe to have the baby standing, how they needed to get me into the hospital room for the baby's safety, and they needed to check my cervix.

Though it wasn't my proudest moment I kept yelling back to them, "Stop telling me what to do," "Leave me alone," and "I am not getting in the bed."  The doctor put her hand up to me and was feeling the baby's head.  I then yelled at her to stop pushing the baby back inside me.  I vaguely remember a nurse putting her hands on my shoulders to get me into the bed and I remember shoving her.  After a few minutes they resided to the fact that I was not going to listen to them.  They let me stand/squat and out he came.  Jordan announced, surprised, "You were right, it's a boy!" Where I responded, "Yeah, I know!" haha.

Everything happened so incredibly fast.  While pushing my eyes were closed.  By the time I opened them they had already cut the cord and took August to a L&D room.  I immediately hopped in the bed and tearfully apologized to the nurses for ignoring them and not listening.  Their demeanor had also taken a 180 and they were very sweet to me as well.

August was born at 12:06 am.  Six minutes after getting to the hospital.  Although my labor was "supernatural" in the sense that I did not feel much pain at all, afterwards my body was in absolute shock.  My legs would not stop shaking.  I was so overwhelmed by the experience.  Up until ten minutes before he was born I was not even sure I was in labor.  I went from that to the intensity of pushing out a baby.

I did not want to hold August until an hour after he was born.  It took me a minute to wrap my head around the fact he was here.   My doula arrived minutes after the baby was born and was SO helpful in my recovery after the birth.  I am going to write an entire post on how helpful having a doula has been for me.

God is so so good.  Not just because He allowed me to have a fast labor.  But because during the entire thing I felt His presence so closely.  It may sound weird but I trusted Him and the body He gave me so greatly, I did not think twice about not calling the hospital or disagreeing with the nurses.  We are not called to live by the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind.

August, How sweetly you entered this world.  You have such an amazing grace about you.  You seem at such peace with the world.  Your presence in my life has softened my heart.  Not only to you but to the Lord and the rest of my family.  I know you will only be this little for such a short time, and I am cherishing every minute of it.  I am so glad God gave you to our family team.  You will bring so much to the table.  It is such a privilege to raise boys.  I promise to help you be strong and courageous.  Your daddy and I want to equip you to raise a family of your own and stand up for what is right.  More importantly we want to equip you to the things of the Kingdom.  We have an amazing heavenly Daddy we can trust.  And I trust Him with you all the days of my life.  Love you, Mommy