I'm (finally) finishing my series of posts explaining what we felt the Lord gave us as reasons He was leading us into a Sabbath year. At the time we were still very fearful of the idea and we specifically asked Him to give us some reasons that were compelling enough to cause us to say yes to this crazy idea, in spite of all of the unknowns.
Family Rhythms
Have you ever stopped to take some time and figure out what are the most important things in your life? Have you ever given much thought to what things in your life help keep you and your family healthy? What is it that brings life? I imagine most people have at least given a bit of thought to these questions...and if they haven't could answer them quite easily.
But here is a little tougher question...If someone were to take an unbiased look at your calendar, what conclusions would they come to? Or even scarier...what if they had the opportunity to take a look at your thought life...the things you woke up thinking about and the stuff that crossed your mind as you drifted off to sleep? What would they assume are the most important things to you? What would they think keeps you and your family healthy? What would they guess brings you life?
These are some questions that we began to ponder as we wrestled with the Lord over the idea of taking a Sabbath year. The honest answers to these questions were a bit troubling. We realized that what we called our "priorities" actually weren't priorities at all. I could quickly tell you that my faith and my family were my priorities...but a quick look at how I spent my time and what consumed my thoughts exposed that these things were my priorities in theory only. It doesn't take a genius to understand that if I say marriage is a priority in my life, and yet I haven't had a date night with my wife in a months...it's not really a priority. If I say quality time with my family is a priority, yet I can't stop thinking about work when I'm home...it's not really a priority. If I say growing closer to Jesus is a priority, yet I regularly justify not spending time with Him because I'm too busy, or too tired...it's not really a priority. This may sound a bit harsh...but I think it is just the truth.
I believe one of the reasons our calendar didn't reflect our "theoretical priorities" was that we had taken a very reactive approach to filling it up. There was nothing wrong with any of the things we were doing...the problem was that our calendars would fill up week after week with a bunch of "good" things...but not necessarily the things that keep our family healthy. Business crowded out necessity and the result became an unhealthy family.
So this Sabbath year has been an opportunity to get healthy again. I don't think you've got to quit your job to get healthy again...but I sure have found that it helps. We have been on a discovery process of truly figuring out what are the most important things in our life...and what events or activities need to happen in order to keep these things regularly reflected as our true priorities. And if they are priorities...then we they can't be neglected for more than a week...or they will stop being priorities. We have made these things the foundation of our weekly calendar...our weekly rhythm...they are the things we don't move. Everything else can fit around these...and if they can't...then they just don't go on the calendar. We certainly haven't done it perfectly...but when we find ourselves or our relationships feeling a bit unhealthy...it's almost always because we've neglected some or all of our established rhythms.
Every family's rhythms will be different...but I really do encourage you to consider creating one. Here are a few of the things we have made part of our weekly rhythm:
- family God time...this happens after breakfast most days...sometimes on a bike ride but mostly on our living room floor. Henry leads us in songs...usually lots of dancing is involved, Eliz or I read stories from the "God book"...Henry typically likes to act them out as we read them, we pray together, and finally we do some "practice" (basically role playing how to respond when you get served food you don't think you'll like, or how to share with your sister, or how to look someone in the eye and tell them your name). We've found that these times of training are much more effective when our kids have soft hearts...rather than in the moments they are screaming they hate their food, grabbing toys from each other, or being shy. We love these times...but lots of times we don't want to do them...lots of times there are tantrums and tears...but they happen because we know they keep us healthy
- shabbat...we kick off our sabbath day each week with a special family dinner. Lots of times we invite friends and family to celebrate the gift of Sabbath with us. We eat good food...we take communion together...we pray blessings over the kids...and we take time to remember all that God has given us "rest" from. We love these times...though the kids don't sit still...Henry doesn't like to dip his bread in the juice...and lots of weeks I don't feel like leading any sort of intentional conversation over the meal...but they happen because we know they keep us healthy
- sabbath...this is our "family fun day." our goal is that this would become the day that we count down to all week...the day that our kids look forward to. God has truly given us the Sabbath as a gift and our hope is that as we set aside this day and cease from all that we "have to do," He will help us understand and believe even more deeply that because of what He has done...we can truly be satisfied in all that has been accomplished and rest.
- daddy time...Saturday mornings I take the kiddos and Eliz gets some much needed alone time. Most mornings we ride the bike over to Starbucks and just hang out. We eat pastries...we drink chocolate milk...and hang out with friends who come and join or just happen to stop in for some coffee.
These are a few of the things cemented on our calendar each week...we don't do it perfectly...but I know we are getting healthier!
So that wraps up this series of blog posts...5 months later :). We are at the 1/2 way point of our Sabbath year and it has been quite the journey so far. It is funny to look back at this series of "Why" posts and realize that we thought we knew exactly what God was up to with calling us into this Sabbath year. He surely has been doing all of the things I've written about in these 4 posts...but He has been up to so much more. I'm sure I'll write about those later...but judging on the pace of these last few...don't feel the need to check back daily :)
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