Only He Can Satisfy

I am up early today because I have an interview for an internship at a Foster Care Agency. I am really torn whether or not this would be something I would be good at. I really think everyday I will come home crying wanting to take home kids. But on the other hand, I could really see myself wanting to do a great job because there's a need for good social workers in the foster care system, especially in Cincinnati.

Another thought, it is so strange how we go through life going from lover to lover. When we are single we want a boyfriend/girlfriend. When we are in a relationship we want to be married. When we are married we want a bigger or nicer house. When we are married we also want a pet or a few kids. Once we have kids... well I don't know what we want... but I can guarantee the cycle goes on...

I really feel the Lord is teaching me what it looks like to never forget my first love, Him. Even though I love Jordan so much he does not measure up to the Lord. It is so strange the way I have looked at the Lord for most of my life. I feel like I owe Him something or that He is disappointed with me if I do not measure up. I dont really think this is a correct way of thinking. Instead I believe the Lord just wants me to be madly in love with Him. Yes, we are called to walk in obedience, but instead of doing it just because He says so, doing it because you are trusting in Him and His perfect will.

My prayer is that God will allow me to press in more to who He is, that I wouldnt get distracted on how terrible I am or how he is disappointed in me. Instead, I would continue to recieve his grace and love.

I dont even know if this makes sense? haha... I just woke up and had these thoughts. I am not a good writer, and on top of that it is early! O well...

Later today Jordan is golfing with my dad and I am babysitting. I then am meeting with a good friend, Megan. We then are going to the McGillviray's for dinner which is always good. Now I just need to figure out when I am going to do my school work!! Everyone have a great day.