build up or tear down?

So I woke up in the middle of the night last night and could not fall back asleep.  I had this heaviness in my heart that I could not shake.  Jordan was sleeping next to me and the thought popped into my head "are you building up or tearing down your husband?"  

Now I dont usually think I "tear down" Jordan or am a horrible wife.  But the thought hit me last night.. if I am not building Jordan up I AM TEARING HIM DOWN.  

I pray so often for Henry and that I will build him up to be the person God wants him to be.  I want him to live a life of freedom and I want him to have confidence in the Lord.  How can I want that for my baby if I am not helping my husband live that way?  I find myself consistently "picking" at him and choosing small frustrations over grace.  When he has ideas or passions I can shoot them down without thinking how that might impact how he views himself.  

I always said I wanted a husband who "leads" our family.  How can I have that if I shoot him down in his attempts and instead take charge with no discretion.  

There are few successful marriages these days... most people when they are walking down the aisle dont think they will be the ones who have a struggling marriage down the road.  Instead, over time habits form and people get lazy and selfish, leaving marriages in danger.  

I really want to be a wife that does anything possible to make my marriage GREAT.  I want to fight for Jordan, love, enjoy and protect him.  I dont want to be his enemy... instead I want to be his biggest support.  

So.. I am vowing now to choose to be that to him.  

Ladies.  Are you building up or tearing down your husband?  Remember when Jesus said "Love your neighbor as yourself" He is referring your husband as a neighbor! :)