a pet peeve

So since I have recently gone through a miscarriage I think its okay if I gripe and complain about some things that happen in the baby world.  So I keep hearing people when talking their pre-born children say things like, "I do not care what sex my baby is, as long as it is healthy."  I do not think people REALLY know what they are saying when they say such comments.  What I want to say to them is "So if your baby comes out and is not 'healthy' what are you going to do?  Not love it?  Give it away? Be sad? I know having children with any sort of disability is hard, a lot of work and strenuous.  But I can imagine they would regret saying such comments if they had said them before their baby was born.  

Sorry... I just feel like a lot of people are having babies or talking about babies lately and its been fueling some thought.  

Another note:  I read this blog entry where this woman was listing all the things you should not say to a woman who has had a miscarriage.  I thought this one was particularly true.  Here it is copied and pasted below.  

What people say:  You are healthy/young/got pregnant easily or have X amount of kids, you can get pregnant again.

Would you ever say that to someone who lost a friend, that they can make more, or tell someone who has lost a parent or sibling that they still have other ones? Of course not, it demeans the loss of the child who was wanted and loved.  Even if you can get pregnant again or have other children- this child and pregnancy is gone.  

I must note my tone when writing this stuff.  I want my blog to be not only funny parts of the day but also pieces of what's going through my mind and what I am struggling with.  I am not angry or bitter towards anyone.  However what happened to me in December is still an active and scarring part of my life thus far.  Its weird to think at this time I would probably be pretty huge and Jordan and I would probably be getting ready to move out of our apartment into something (a little) bigger.  Its hard to explain the emotions that come along with it.  It isn't sadness anymore but instead its almost a surreal feeling.  I think the emotions will be more raw if Jordan and I decide to ever try and get pregnant or if I ever do get pregnant again.  Its so assuring being a Christian in times like this.  WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL.  How freeing is that!! Its not up to me to plan everything out but instead I can exchange my burden for His (and He says His is light!!)