Even the thought of looking at houses is not fun for me (and we are doing it tomorrow). I wish someone could pick the house for me, then I could just move in. I am house sitting for the month of June and I am not used to keeping an entire house tidy. I usually only have to clean two rooms (well one technically bc we only hang out in the bedroom.)
Things in community are also picking up as well. We are meeting with any couples who are interested in being in the covenant and talking about basic principles of couples community. I am feeling the warfare of this even before its began!
And the great cherry on top is that I don't know if I even like kids. I really thought I did until I got pregnant. Now they are driving me nuts. At the YMCA in the locker room there is ALWAYS a screaming kid. Yesterday, listening to the child I wanted to roll up in a ball and just start crying or walk over and backhand the little tot.
Even as I type that I feel the Lord telling me that I have so much in common with bratty kids. I am still so disobedient to Him and carry so much pride and I like to get my way... a lot.
Jesus, give me a teachable heart. I don't want to be the perfect parent.. thats what you are. Please give me realistic expectations of what I am getting myself into. Help me to turn to you for guidance and peace. To you I give all things... I pray by giving up everything I would receive true life in You.
4 comments:
We are praying for you hon - I know that you will be a wonderful Mom! It is a huge change and it's natural to feel overwhelmed - but I know that you both lean on the Lord - and He's big enough!!!!
We love you!
Call Courtney - she had the same feeling!
hey there. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I totally understand and will pray for you! if you ever need to talk about it all, let me know. By the way, it really is true that it's different when it's your own. It won't be like you're all of a sudden stuck with one of the kids at the YMCA!
EG, the magic of being a mommy (or so mine has always said) is once they're here, you just KNOW. And yes, it comes from your wonderful Teacher. The reason those kids drive you crazy is because they're not yours- you will "train" yours better than that, I am sure :)
And while you're house hunting, keep thinking of which one looks like the most enlightening to decorate and you'll have no problem!
Seriously call me Elizabeth! I am just going through the same thing. I don't know that I can give you all the answers and make you feel 100% better, but it just helps to talk to someone who knows what you are going through.
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