One moment I feel like I am getting the hang of things, then the next I am completely overwhelmed and feel like I will never have a handle on my life again. Here are all the areas I feel like my world is rocked.
My marriage: Marriage is something I keep as my TOP priority (aside from my relationship with God). I feel like since Jordan and I got married we have been SO intentional in communicating and making time for one another. We have been great about going on dates, getting together with other couples and picking up on how the other is doing. NOT SINCE THE BABY!! It seems like when Jordan gets home I have nothing to say.. other than the typical "He pooped again while you were gone," or "I had to change his outfit twice already!" I guess we arent the best multitaskers either because when the babe is awake and around, it is not quality time between Jordan and I. I just feel like we are in a rut and I dont know what to do to get out of it. **O yeah. and those of you who are thinking about sexy time.. I am still "recovering" and in no place to even consider such activities.**
My friends: Same type of issues. I still have amazing friendships but it seems like everyone wants to talk about the baby when we are together. Which I dont usually mind because it is what takes up all my time... but I feel like my identity is gone and now I am known as "Henry's mom". Or when I get together with a friend I have Henry with me and we can't have an intentional conversation. Then when I am asked "How am I really doing?" I end up talking about the baby anyways. This is a no win situation. :( I think more girls nights out are definitely needed.
My family: I actually feel like having a baby brings you closer to your family, especially your inlaws. Henry is blood relatives with Jordan's family so it somehow seems as though they are my family now. Weird? But same issues here.. everyone wants to come into town or come over to visit the baby.. leaving me feeling only like a set of utters ready for when Henry is hungry.
My relationship with the Lord: Honestly I dont know what words to use in regard to this matter. Some moments I feel so intimate with Him and feel like I couldn't be closer. Then the next minute I feel so lonely and that my life is wasting away. I know Henry is my "ministry" right now but sometimes I dont like it. I keep asking God that He would remind me of the importance and urgency of being a good mom. So many people out there dont take it seriously or see the impact they have on their child.
Soo.. thats where I am at.. no one can say I am not an honest person...
5 comments:
I'm not even sure what to write except that it's okay to feel everything you are feeling. I know everyone is different, but it took me a LONG time to adjust to being a mom. Everything you wrote is so true and such a huge change. It never gets easy, but it does start to feel normal eventually. Sounds like a girl's night with no baby talk needs to be scheduled...
Elizabeth, I think our series starting next week will be a great release for you. I am so excited to learn from you and it's also going to be a fun girls night that you can look forward to each week. I do agree that these feelings are normal and it says so much about your character that you're facing them and thinking about them, rather than using "stress" as an excuse as many people do. Acknowledging the different challenges will help with adjusting - everyone thinks you're doing a phenomenal job. :)
So even though we weren't really close at Taylor I love reading your blog for your honesty and ability to open up. I just want to encourage you and let you know that I think you are a million times ahead of where I feel like I am. You are such a great woman of God and reading your blog encourages and inspires me. It's okay to have blah times in our life (especially you since your hormones are raging!). I'm going to be praying for you and the frustrations your having in your life!
Melissa (Baum) Miller
I wouldn't mind hanging out sometime. I miss seeing you. I haven't seen you since 09. :(
I love your blog! I wish you lived near me because I know we would be friends! I always say that being a parent just makes you realize how sinful you really are....which is really hard! It is humbling to have a job that can easily go without thanks (since babies cannot really say much:))especially when you feel like you are spending so much of yourself for them. But there is great joy and comfort in knowing our Father sees all and knows all-and will bless us for our faithfulness to Him! Friends forget you are still yourself sometimes....so have some outing that reminds them you are still you! And spend a night just laughing with Jordan-that always goes far....I will keep reading and enjoying who you are from a distance! Thanks for your honesty and wonderful example!
Post a Comment