Happy Birthday Henry!

My baby boy turns one tomorrow.. being a mom to Henry has been the biggest inspiration of my life..  every year since Jordan and I were engaged I made a tradition of writing him a letter on his special day.  The letter reflects the year along with calling out the amazing things about Jordan that I learned or experienced over that year.  I decided I am going to carry on this tradition with my babies. 

So here it is.. the first letter to Henry

Dec 14th 2010

To My Sweet Baby Boy,

    I remember it so vividly.. a year ago I went through the hardest physical pain of my life.  After 25 hours of pain, vomiting and heart rate scares I pushed for ten minutes and out you came! When they placed you on me the first thing I noticed were your sweet little fingers.  They were the same as mine!! You were such a beautiful baby and I took so much joy seeing Jordan become a daddy.  He loved holding you from the beginning and was so proud.  We loved calling everyone and sharing our joy with the world!!

Henry Luca Stone.  The name fits you so well.  

Henry meaning "Ruler of the home".  Your name is such a strong one Henry and it suits you so well.  I can already tell you are a person of influence.  Your strong sensitive eyes can pierce my soul.  Even as a small baby everyone around you knew what you were thinking.  You are such a strong, determined and passionate person.  I love that so much about you.  

Luca means "light".  I tear up thinking about how much light you have already brought into this world.  Not just because you are my son and I love you no matter what.  But because of WHO YOU ARE.  God has made you in such a unique and special way.  He is going to use you even from such a young age.  You have so much joy, you illuminate it. 

As I sit back and reflect on this past year I am filled with so much joy and thankfulness...  at the same time I feel a bit of silly regret.  Did I soak in as many moments as I could?? Did I take enough pictures? Video? Did I soak in the smell of your baby-ness or rub your soft baby skin enough to remember it forever?? I hope so!!! 

I can honestly say to you Henry that I love being with you.  I love spending time with you.  It gives me the smallest glimpse of how the Father feels towards me (and you).  I want you to know that there is nothing but PURE delight in His heart towards you.  There will be times down the road where you feel ashamed or unloveable, but your Father loves you perfectly... even when I can't.

You have so many sweet little quarks that I want to remember about this year.  For instance how you noticed airplanes in the sky even at five months.  You were fearless in the pool and the water relaxed you so much.  As a small baby you always saved your "explosive" poopy diapers for when your diaper was off... one time I went out to eat with a friend and I still had poop running all down my leg!!  You give people the "stink face" when you are unsure of them.  You have such a sense of humor and love when people salute you and pretend to march around.  Your signature head hug will make anyones day.  You LOVE men.  Anytime a man is around you are either staring at them or wanting them to hold you.  You can tell when I am rushed to nurse you or put you down for bed; this makes you want to take your time even more.  You have such sweet bleach blonde hair~ that was a shock to me.  You love watching tv... (kinda like your mama!) You can really throw a ball... Your favorite part of church is worship, you wave your little arm to the music.  You love talking while we pray at dinner.  When I tell you no, you think it is hilarious to keep doing whatever it is I dont want you to do... You love it when your daddy comes home from work...

... I could go on for hours!! 

I remember the first month of your life nursing you every night and crying my eyes out because you were a day older.  I was brought back to those moments tonight when I nursed you a last time before you turn one.  As tears filled my eyes I begged God that you would understand how loved you are.  If you dont know how much I love you... that you would at least understand how much He loves you.  

My special little boy, my monkey, my buddy, my sunshine, my son.  I love you so so so much.  You are so fearfully and wonderfully made.

XOXO, Mommy